Session 1B | Nov 11, 2015
Almost perfect! I will comment on some improvements later but very nearly perfect!
Ok, I really have to congratulate you on an excellent work! There are several things that I’d like to point out you’ve done exceptionally well:
– Very nice and subtle use of color
– Great composition of shapes in the drawing of the girl
– Very nice and very subtle use of font, especially the additional separation between the letters (kerning) in words “Meaning” “Contradiction” is a very professional touch.
– Excellent title, goes very well with the image.
So I spend quite some time thinking what improvements I could suggest you.
My general impression is that the distribution of text is a bit too chaotic (even if the title suggest a chaos can be desirable). Also I felt sorry that the girl image was cropped, because the very nice shapes really “want” to flow more.
So I proposed the following:
– Move the image so that it meets the poster edges. This way the shapes have zero margin and appear more dynamic. Plus the image now looks as the girl has a head against her wall so it appears more dramatic.
– I used the imperfections in your drawing (straight lines) as something very positive and I emphasized them by separating spaces a bit – this create additional tension because now the girl appears “fractured”.
– To complete the image, I extended the girl’s ponytail. Then I just went ahead and shaped the ponytail in a shape of the “?” so that creates even more tension.
– I used the same font and kerning (spacing), but I’ve put it in order a bit, because the girl is now chaotic and dramatic herself, with the head against the wall and the question mark. We can now put text in order and it will balance the chaos of the girl.
– Note how text is all placed in a dark purple “negative shape” of a girl (background).
– Note the yellow guidelines, how the text is accurately aligned both left and right.
– Also note now how different size and color create a hierarchy of importance (title, your name, dates, gallery name, address).
– Also note grouping of text boxes of similar meaning. Title and your name went together on one side, and the dates and gallery info grouped on the other side.
– This now actually looks a lot like a book cover!
And by the way, in my sketch I think the distance between the title and your name should be smaller (it should be exactly the same distance as between words “MANIFESTO” and “of”, or words “of” and “CONTRADICTIONS”.
… and now I think the “question mark” should be of darker color, because it’s very big and with this bright color it has too strong a presence in the image.
Thank you so much for the feedback! I will take into account everything you have mentioned and improve it for future projects. The sad thing is I can’t see the image you attached to the comment, I hope that if it can’t be uploaded at least I can see it in the classroom.
Here’s the image:
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